It is a quiet Saturday morning in April. Rain falls softly outside, and the streets are covered with cherry blossom petals. Though all of you are sick with a virus, it is a good day.
Today I am able to take care of you for a change. Today I feel okay. I have the strength to make you some eggs, toast and tea. I’ll bring them to you in bed, and plant a gentle kiss on your forehead.
Today I will make some of my homemade tomato sauce that you love, and its magnificent aroma will fill the air. I will bake those nut-free vanilla cupcakes that you’ve been asking me to make for months. We will play Scrabble for hours since my brain is less foggy. We will cozy up on the couch and watch a great family movie.
I will be the mom/wife that I want to be every single day. The mom/wife that is not too sick to care for you, to cook for you, to be present for you, to explore the world with you. I will cherish this day, and pray for many more like it.
My many chronic conditions include Asthma, Lyme Disease, Fibromyalgia, Interstitial Cystitis, Endometriosis, Anxiety and Pre Menstrual Dysmorphic Disorder.
Any one of these conditions are enough to make life difficult to manage and cope with, but together they are often debilitating.
You see me wince with pain, so you help dry my tears. You see me tired and hungry so you bring me food. You see me unable to do chores so you help do them for me. You see me suffer, so you bring me my medicine.
What you don’t realize is that you provide the best medicine in the world. The medicine I need the most.
You provide it in daily doses of hugs, teaspoons of tenderness, and soothing scripts.
There is no better prescription for happiness. You make the tough days tolerable, the painful days palatable, and the crazy days comforting.
You are there for it all, and help me get through the unavoidable rain. You rarely complain, you just want to help me feel better.
I appreciate every single thing you do for me. I appreciate all of the sacrifices you make. I appreciate your constant companionship.
It is nice to not have to feel so alone in this long journey of chronic illness. In this long journey of life.
It is nice to have all of you by my side. My sweet family. I love you more than words can say.
Today I’ll take care of you.
Today I promise to keep fighting to get better so that we will have many more days together in sickness and in health.
Today it is my turn to provide you with some comfort, warmth and unconditional love.
Rest your weary heads.
Mommy is here.
And I will be here until the last cherry blossom petals wash away.